Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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