5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize