Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Apparently you make a good broom.
Duck Duck Cougar?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
