It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
