Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
