Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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