in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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