Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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