just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
