shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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