Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
