Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
