margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
