Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
