i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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