so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
