It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize