Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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