I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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