Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
