if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
