okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
