how can u be prego again
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
