Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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