I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
