dude i'm inner monologue high
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
