I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
