I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
