Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
