screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
