help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Someone shattered a urinal.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize