My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
