i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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