Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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