Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
