So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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