he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize