whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
