see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
