Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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