Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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