hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
