Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
