No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
