No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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