Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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