would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
