break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
