we're blogging at a bar
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
