you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
