I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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