I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
only you would photoshop your dick
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
