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My balls are so social today.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
