omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize