I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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