every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
