She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
