My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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